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[01 Jul 2003|11:36pm] |
[ Cross-posted in  cs__ooc ]
Thank you to everyone who's tried to make me feel at home and peace here. But... I still feel indifferent from the first time since I've been here. I don't feel too comfortable here and feel like I'm constantly changing myself to be accepted and turn into something I'm not. So with that, I think I've finished my time here. It's been fun, the times that I was around. Thank you everyone. Especially Craig (Craigeroo for old times sake, and you will not die in a ditch) and Tom. You guys are the best and the world needs more guys like you. Vin, off to the future we go. Amber, I'll miss you, you crazy fool. And thank you Ali for all your help.
I'm out. Please remove me mods, and the aim name is LadyxLaetitia.
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[22 Jun 2003|10:35pm] |
Talk about confused....
Okay, two days Vin. After that I don't know what I'm going to do. *frowns slightly*
In better news, Ali kicks ass cause she made me a new layout.
*sighs* That's it for now.
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[22 Jun 2003|01:48am] |
Fuck.
It took me like 10 minutes to log in because I forgot my password. And then when I remembered my password, I kept on typing my username wrong. Mind you, my own name.
That shows just how much I need to update. I haven't even posted a re-introduction but I will get to that eventually, I'm sure.
I'm a dirty lurker. *shrugs* Oh well.
*sighs lightly, her gaze lowering to the floor* He still hasn't called yet. Despite saying he would, he didn't. And me being the pathetic girl I am, don't want to be the one to call him cause I don't want to bother him in case that he is just busy with his movie. Still...
*shakes her head lightly* Should I just try to move on?
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[07 Jun 2003|03:23pm] |
Time for Laetitia to spill cause she's been giving shitty updates.
*yawns softly, her hands moving up to sweep her dark hair off her shoulders and behind them, scratching at her cheek, her eyes swiftly dart around with hesitation playing in them, as she rests her two fingers near her temple, the other hand rests motionless on the keyboard, and the fan sending a slightly chilly breeze blowing the strands of hair in her face, wondering to herself where to start*
To make it simple, I used to hate men.
Not every one of them, but the majority of them were bastards and assholes who seemed to make it a goal in life, to see how many hearts they can break in a lifetime.
I've never dumped someone, always was the dumpee.
After going through life like that, it causes a slight damage to your confidence, don't you think? It made it hard for me to open up to anyone or tell anyone what I'm feeling. I wasn't used to people listening anyway, travelled too much to make any worthwhile friends.
I know inside that I'm just mad because of how many times I've been hurt, or because I don't get my way. But by claiming that I hated men, it was easier to push them away so I wouldn't fall into that trap again, so I wouldn't have to look in those uneasy, awkward eyes again as they tell me of the end.
But...who doesn't long for that special someone, besides the emotionless, cranky, bitchy people who just don't give a shit about anyone but themselves? And I didn't want to turn into that.
They changed my mind. It took some time but they tried and succeeded. My mind shifted gears and I thought, "hey, this time might be different", just like I've always said the last time, and the time before that, and the time before that. You'd think a girl would learn but someone out there taught me if you give up, you'll never find what you're looking for. And he reached out his hand, told me everything I needed to hear, maybe everything I wanted to hear even though I was wrong and I knew it. But at least I admitted it, right?
Finally after some time, I followed through his course of action with what he started, something I had been thinking about after that day constantly and worn a path in the carpet, walking and thinking about it so much. I guess it's my fault for waiting too long but I needed that time to reflect and analyze, break things down.
As a result, I'm stuck on the waiting list now.
*she sighs, her eyes looking up as if she was talking to that direct person* Don't worry, I know that's not how you see me, it was just simply an analogy.
Either way, I took the chance and now I have to wait and see what happens.
But I know what I'm going to do if it happens, and if it doesn't happen.
Waiting's just the hard part.
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[03 Jun 2003|01:43pm] |
Vin, where are you? We never did get to meet up.
I'm hiding...lurking...whatever you want to call it. Only cause I don't think Vin or Craig is on.
I'm still in Vancouver. Still doing the ads for Daniel but at this moment, I'm sitting here absolutely bored. I did get new icons though. But that was like, last week.
I need entertainment. Hmm...
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[27 May 2003|07:08pm] |
I swear it feels like just yesterday that I updated this damn thing.
Anywho. I'm lurking. Bah.
Not that it matters cause you guys don't talk to me anyways. Pft. And not that I really care since...I'm guilty to not knowing who any of you are. Whoops?
I did get some new icons though if you care to see.
In Vancouver right now dealing with some runway shows and got re-signed to Daniel. So I've been doing some ads for him.
Besides that...nothin' much. Just been talking to Craig who still thinks I stole his beer and I didn't. And Tom even though technically...I've never talked to him since he's a loser and I haven't seen him on. And Vin..I think I might've scared Vin away since I don't see him around. *laughs softly*
I didn't even realize I was in the Maxim's 100 until Tom (I think?) pointed it out. It feels pretty good to be on that list even though it shouldn't mean much. Anyway, I'll be going now.
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[20 May 2003|09:59pm] |
Days.
Nights.
Work.
Busy.
Make it stop. Well, not really seeing as how that would put me out of a job but damn, at least a break or something?
*drags herself back to the studio*
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[11 May 2003|10:53am] |
It's my birthday I can cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to...you would cry too if it happened to you.
Well...nothing's happening so I really have nothing to cry about. *laughs a little*
My apologies, I've been lazy on updating this thing!
I went to visit Craig (*insert link like he always does* I'm lazy I know). Now that was a lot of fun hanging out with him and his bandmates. I was a bit apprehensive at first seeing how it's been a really long while since I've hung out with a group of people but it was enjoyable. *smiles* Some people did recognize me. It was really surprising, I'm still a little embarrassed and shy when people ask for my autograph and claim to be a big fan. A fan of a model? *laughs, shaking her head* I don't do anything special. The only people who I can see saying that are the French since I did do a few films over there. But back to the topic. I did not drink all the beer. *sticks tongue out*
I gave Craig (*insert link*) and Tom (*insert link*) their cheerleading outfits. I must say they turned out very well and looked fabulous on them. I took pictures. *grins* Is it scary that they can pull it off? *laughs*
I haven't talked to Vin for a while. Where's he been? I miss talking to him.
So, plans for my birthday? --Nada. *wonders if it will change, shrugs*
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[29 Apr 2003|05:07pm] |
*pauses, biting softly on her finger, looking out the window* Never have I been self-concious around somebody so why now? And why is it only when that certain person is around? When the hell did I start caring? *shakes her head*
Mmm...
It's been a long while since I've been to In N Out. I was a little sick of fancy places. It's nice to be wined and dined but when it's all the time, it just makes you crave for the simple but divine things again. So, that's where Vin and I went to eat. It was amusing the look he gave me when I told him I was going to get a grilled cheeseburger. Y'see...In N Out has a secret menu. *grins* And that's what one of the items on that secret menu happened to be. A grilled cheeseburger. Vin's a great guy who's always right which sucks because then that'd make me wrong. *laughs softly* And he's going to be attending one of my fashion shows just to support me. *smiles* We had a good time and it was refreshing to be talking and just hanging out with a friend without anything being expected. These days, I move around so much I don't have time to make friends. But perhaps it's for the better.
I'm also going to go visit Craig and give him his cheerleading outfit I promised. I forgot what it was for but oh well, it'd still be interesting to see him in one. Hell, might as well bring over a photographer so I can take pictures for memories. His friend, Tom Lenk wants one too? *arches an eyebrow, shrugs* I'll make one for him too, if he wants. Oh and don't believe Craig. I'm not a nice girl. I'm a scary superficial bitch who hates men. *glares*
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[21 Apr 2003|06:56pm] |
I really dislike writing pointless entries of absolutely no substance whatsoever but...
Here's one. *smiles cheesily*
I really need to get off my ass and start meeting people. I still dislike men though.
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[14 Apr 2003|02:39pm] |
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Yeah ... fuck all men.
Except for a few of you, that I could never grow to hate. *sigh*
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[07 Apr 2003|06:53am] |
Flying back to L.A. today...
Adam's coming with me but after that plane lands we're going our seperate ways. *looks down, sighing a bit* For some reason, when the label 'boyfriend/girlfriend' got put on us, it was different, we were different. It was a bit more awkward and we wanted nothing more than to make each other happy. We sat down and talked about it and decided that it's better off being best friends with each other like we used to be. And that's fine, as long as he's in my life. For now...it's too soon to see him. But I don't know anyone else but him.
Someone talk to me.
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[24 Mar 2003|06:15pm] |
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I invited Adam to come with me to Florida since I have work over here. I'm so glad he decided to come along because it makes the trip so much more fun and less lonely than what I'm used to. Plus, who wouldn't love having a body pillow every night. *grins* Florida is nice. Hopefully we'll have time to head down to the beach or something. I've got a couple photo shoots down here and then a fashion show that I have to participate in. But after that, the time is all ours. And I'm sure we'll find plenty of ways to spend it...
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[17 Mar 2003|02:28pm] |
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Mm... *fluttering her eyes open feeling arms around her, looks down and smiles* Well whoever said Folgers is the best part of waking up was wrong. Because this beats it by far. *ducks her head down to kiss his forehead, fingers gently rubbing the back of his neck*
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[10 Mar 2003|07:22pm] |
*sighs a little* You know, if only Adam could see himself through my eyes, he'd realize there are so many wonderful qualities about him. And if he would only put himself out in the world again and meet new people, everyone else can discover how great he is. At least I know he's trying. *smiles a bit*
I had my 2nd date with Trevor last Saturday. We went to the top of a mountain like we had planned and had a little picnic there. Just the two of us. And some bugs. *laughs a little* They wouldn't stay away from our food. It was such a beautiful day. We talked a lot, told jokes, sang silly songs...threw grass at each other. *laughs* The grass didn't go that far but judging from how much grass got into his fro, I'm thinking I won. *grins a little* It was a blast. *smiles* Thanks Trevor, I had a great time.
I have to be leaving LA soon. I'm not looking foward to it at all now that I know I would be leaving Adam and Trevor. Maybe I can get an extended trip or something.
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[03 Mar 2003|10:19pm] |
What to say, what to say...
For once I have something of substance to update about. *laughs softly* But I'm so exhausted I can't make complete sentences yet. Work is keeping me so busy and I get home late at night...every night.
I had a date with Trevor. *smiles* Who is a very charming guy, if I may add. We went to grab a bite to eat and basically just talked and got to know each other. I wouldn't mind doing it again in the future. One has to wonder though after reading his update, who his crush is...hmm. Well whoever it is, I wish him good luck and happiness because he deserves it. *smiles*
And then there's Adam who I'm growing to love as a friend because he's a great guy who's just having some problems. I hate to see him so sad and I hope Gale and him get to talk soon so everything can get cleared up. I just want him to be happy again because like I told him...no one wants to see a sad Adam. *smiles a bit* And he needs to show off his perdy smile! *laughs softly*
So that's about it. Only because those are the only people I know here. *laughs softly* I need to change that soon. Well hope the rest of you have a fantastic week.
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[25 Feb 2003|09:29pm] |
*smiles a bit* So in all this madness I've managed to meet someone nice. Now I just have to wonder if there are any more of you out there? *laughs softly*
It has been so lonely because I'm constantly moving places for my photoshoots. I'm currently in LA and for the first time, I'm staying more than 2 days. I did get myself a puppy though. He comes with me everywhere I go. *grins* The sweetest lil thing ever.
As for guys, I'm tired of running around in circles for them. Nothing happens perfectly. Not for me anyways. The fairy tale life just isn't for me. Never was, never will be. So, those of you who do have a fairy tale life, consider yourself extremely lucky to experience something so surreal.
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[19 Feb 2003|05:29pm] |
*sucks in her breath*
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. A peck of pickled peppers, Peter Piper picked. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, how many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?
*bows*
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[11 Feb 2003|12:08am] |
*looks around biting her lip*
How exactly do you escape the inevitable?
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[05 Feb 2003|04:15pm] |
*rises from the dead*
I liiiiiiiiiiiiiive!
Yeah so I watched Mulan today and that Mushu is so funny. *laughs a little*
I just arrived in New York for some more photoshoots. This would be my 3rd time here and each time they move me to a different location. Is there anyone who lives around here who can tell me some good places to go? I'd be greatful.
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